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Moving on

Not a lot of people know that I don’t have any sort of relationship with my mother. I wish I did, but I don’t.

After years of trying, I pretty much gave up about a month ago. I was looking forward to seeing her for Thanksgiving, seeing her with Violet whom she’s never met, but that’s not to be. I haven’t spoken to her since around Labor Day when she told me that she changed her mind AGAIN about Thanksgiving. We haven’t seen her since 2006. She stayed at our place in Alexandria for a week.

We are all going down there to spend Thanksgiving with Jessica (in Atlanta) and my brother and his family. We’ll also be seeing Greg’s sister (who is the closest thing I have to a sister) and her family as well. I’m so looking forward to it! I cannot wait for it, I haven’t seen my nephew in 10 years, although I did see my nieces in August. It would have been a chance for her to finally meet Violet, to see us all again after 2 1/2 years.

She didn’t come to Jessica’s college graduation, didn’t see Violet when she was born, didn’t come to Greg’s retirement, didn’t go to Jessica’s high school graduation. She’s always got some sort of excuse. Always.

She makes excuses for things and for people. I cannot stand that. I know that she doesn’t have tons of money, that’s not the issue, the issue is that she puts other things ahead of what should be a priority. That’s something I cannot excuse. It makes me both angry and sad that my mother just doesn’t care. I’m her only daughter. I gave her her first grandchild and my daughter gave her her first great-grandchild.

My birthday is tomorrow and I just got an email from her wishing me a happy birthday. Seriously.

To my mother: Thanks a lot for bringing me into the world and being a crappy parent. I’m glad that I can be a good parent to MY kids and a good grandma to MY grand-daughter. You lack something. That something is prioritizing things. You make excuses for actions for others and never think about looking at what you are lacking. You were never there for me. Ever. I so hoped that after I had a child you would be, but yet again I was wrong. A few yeas ago when your husband, my father, died, I thought you would change. You didn’t. You just don’t care, you have different priorities and you have different values. Never once did you hug me goodnight, tell me that you love me. You sucked as a parent and now you are sucking as a grandparent and great-grandparent. What is wrong with you, seriously, there’s something lacking. You should look inside you and see what you can change.

Posted on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 ♥  
Filed Under Me-Me

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